Surrendering begins with becoming aware of who we are to ourselves in resistance.
Let me explain ⬇️
It can be tempting to think that feeling resistance is a barrier to surrender- but what if it’s actually an invitation? 💌
Resistance isn’t bad. In many cases, it’s an absolutely brilliant & sound protection mechanism because letting go & trusting feels like the farthest thing from safety.
When we realize that experiencing resistance is not mutually exclusive to accessing surrender, then the question becomes :
“How can I surrender in this moment of resistance?”
We start by honouring why our resistance is here in the first place. In a society where our humanity is painted as a constant inconvenience, our default is to make valid human responses like resistance wrong. THIS is what keeps us stuck in resistance. Not the resistance itself.
Resistance comes up when there is a fear/ aversion to surrendering and trusting. And behind that fear is likely a past pain associated with trusting that hasn’t been fully resolved ❤️🩹
Maybe you trusted your parents were going to be there to keep you safe…only to witness a heartbreaking separation that left you without a complete family.
Maybe you trusted life had your back when you dove head over heels into that romantic relationship…only to have your heart broken in the end.
Or maybe you trusted money would find its way to you when you made that investment…only to find yourself in debt and feeling lost and confused.
Or maybe you trusted a friend to have your back during one of the toughest periods of your life…only to realize that they didn’t have your best interest.
When there is resistance to surrender, oftentimes it’s because we’ve learned from past experiences that it’s not safe to surrender trust.
Which means to access surrender in that moment of resistance looks like offering acceptance & love to the part of us that is afraid, & letting them know it’s OK to be scared ❤️
Practice This When You Feel Resistance to Surrender
- Take 3 deep breaths in through your nose, expanding through your stomach, heart & throat. Suspend your breath. Exhale slowly through your nose as you lower your collarbones, heart & stomach.
- Connect with the part of you that is in resistance to surrendering & trusting – what does this part of you look like, feel like & sound like?
- Presence this part of you by placing your hands over your heart, or any other part of your body where you feel them present
- Breathe with them as you say out loud: “You are so welcome here. You are so valid. Thank you for looking out for me. I love you!”
- Listen to what this part may want to say to you. Where do they need additional reassurance of love & safety? Give it to them to whatever degree feels accessible to you.
Feel free to adapt & play with the above guidance in whatever way best serves you. When you bring this into the moments of resistance & tension in your life & you keep repeating this practice of honouring YOURSELF in the face of resistance, you’ll notice huge shifts unfolding.
Just because we’re afraid does not mean we can’t surrender at all. But until we let that part of us that is resistant know that it’s OK & VALID to feel the way they’re feeling, surrender is HARD to tap into.
With even the smallest dash of self-compassion & acceptance, we open up a gateway for surrender to be possible. And in what previously felt like the most impossible place to find surrender, we find it, taste it & gradually make it a new norm for ourselves 💕